Although this language seems fairly self-explanatory, sometimes it can be difficult. For the Acts of Service language, you express your love by serving. You listen for the hints they drop about the things that they would like done and then you try to see those things get accomplished. This is the language of people who don’t need to be told they are loved, they want (and need) you to show them. Little Acts of Service are how they know they are loved.

To some, this means the dishes are done, laundry washed, folded, ironed, put away, grass is mowed, trash is out, dinner is done, baby-sitter is on the way and groceries are being brought in as we speak. You bake a cake or some cookies and hearts are melting. You can offer to massage some aching feet or run to the post office and your Service Person is putty in your hands!

Heaven forbid an Acts of Service person marry someone who is not that tidy - then we have serious problems! An Acts of Service husband knows he is loved when he comes home from work with dinner simmering on the stove, a cake in the oven and a tidy house. However, if the wife hasn’t gotten her act together yet and dinner is not done and the dishes are piled high, the husband may take that to mean that his wife just doesn’t care about the things that make him happy – even if this isn’t the case! She may love him to pieces and tell him all the time. But telling is not good enough. He needs the dishes done!

If you love an Acts of Service person, just like the other languages, it may be necessary for you to go an extra mile. You may need to do some strategizing about things you can do that you know they will appreciate. You may need to listen to their complaints and see if you can head them off at the pass next time. For example, each year my parents have the battle of the window air conditioners. Mom starts asking in May and by mid-June she is annoyed. My dad is learning in his old age, he better get them in before July! My mom is an Acts of Service woman, she appreciates it when dad considers her comfort - hot flashes and a hot house don't mix well!

A number of years ago, Random Acts of Kindness became very popular. It's a day where everyone is encouraged to do nice things for others they know, as well as complete strangers. When you live with and love an Acts of Service person, you need to be doing random and regular acts of service everyday to let them know just how much you love them.