The key to loving Quality Time and Conversation People is understanding their concept of with. With equals love in the mind of a Quality Time person. Whether you are talking with them or doing something with them that they enjoy, with equals love. Their motto is a lot like Nike’s: Just Do It… With Me!

The Quality Time language can be broken down into two parts: quality conversation and spending quality time together doing something. Although both are based on the concept of spending Quality Time with a person, one needs to do something together and the other needs to talk.

A Quality Conversation Person needs undivided attention when you talk with them. They need to know you are talking with them not the TV, baseball game, the boss or mother on the phone. They want you to talk with them. A Conversation Person needs your undivided attention when they talk and you listen. While you listen, you need to be a keen listener for their feelings so you can offer nurturing conversation when it's your turn to talk.

I, Liz, realized that this was my language after spending a weekend visiting friends. A group of college friends from our Christian fellowship gathered for a graduation party. I had hoped to spend time bonding with my old roommates, but there were so many people there competing for attention and conversation. It was hard for me to get the quality time and conversation that I so desperately wanted. I went home disappointed and feeling unloved.

A quick "Hi. How was you day? {2 second pause to listen for "fine"} Better get ready for bed..." simply isn't adequate for Quality Time conversationalists. They want to talk about the day, how they fell about the day, how you feel about their day and then, they want to know about your day and how you feel about your day and then, they will tell you how they feel about your day. This will definitely be a 30 minute conversation. A great thing is to do is make an 'appointment' to listen later in the evening, during or after dinner or before bed to sit down and talk. Not only will your Quality Conversation person know you care enough to listen, they will know you make the time to be with them.

Dr. Chapman suggests these tips for becoming a better listener when you are in love with Quality Time Conversationalist:

Maintain eye contact when talking
Don’t listen and do something else at the same time
Listen for feelings. "I feel like..."
Observe body language
Refuse to interrupt

The other dialect of Quality Time is those who want to do. These fine folks long to do things with you while they have your undivided attention. This is what makes them feel special and loved. The definition of Quality Time often differs for men and women. Naturally, because women are more verbal, they often want to talk over coffee or while taking a walk. However, men and boys might be content to do something, but not necessarily talk. A game of pick up basketball, cards or changing the oil on your car may be just what's needed to qualify for Quality Time.

If you love someone that is always asking you to do something with them: a board game, a bike ride, a walk, a movie, a trip to the mall, anything that involves doing and going with them, and most times them alone, chances are their language is Quality Time. So get to it! The only thing a Quality Time Person needs is to be with you and have your undivided attention.