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Love Languages

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The Language of Physical Touch
       by Elizabeth Fabiani & Janel Messenger
           Summary & Ideas based on the works of Dr. Gary Chapman

It's been rumored a person needs 7 hugs a day to stay healthy. (How many have you had today?) Despite thoughts some might conjure, the love language of Physical Touch does not always refer to the 3 letter word that starts with s, ends with x and has e in the middle. It is just one of the many aspects of the Physical Touch language. Physical Touch is any gentle and loving touch: a hug, caress, a hand on your shoulder, a foot rub, holding hands, a kiss on the cheek, running your fingers threw someone’s hair... The examples are endless.

Babies left alone in orphanage cribs have died because there was no one there to hold them, touch them and coo to them. All people need to be touched. We can hug good bye, we can lay on hands & pray over someone, we can massage. Touching is therapeutic! We need to be touched. For some people this is their language above all other ways of speaking love. They would rather be held, touched, poke caressed and kissed. Without extra special and deliberate touching, the love of these people withers and dies frightfully quick.

When we first stumble on the love language books, my mother-in-law and I, Janel, scrambled to try and figure out what love language my husband's father is. We haggled, pondered, debated and came up stumped every time! It wasn’t until I read the love language book for children that we made a connection. Dr. Chapman said if you’re having trouble figuring out what love language an adult is, look at how children express their language. By doing this, we figured out what language my father-in-law speaks. He is forever pulling and tousling hair, pinching, poking, tickling and other "annoying" physical things! Curious, I experimented a little. I made sure he always had a hug or hair tousling or poke every time I saw him. It's amazing how much more he likes me now!

After years of marriage counseling, a former pastor thinks that most men are either primarily or secondarily Physical Touch. However, don’t just jump to conclusions about men and the Physical Touch love language. God made men different with different physical needs. If your husband doesn't enjoy cuddling, kisses and hand holding as much as other marital relations, it's likely his love language is not Physical Touch. He's just enjoying being a man. Physical Touch people appreciate all kinds of touch.

Keep in mind that physical touch involves tender, innocent, ticklish, and sensual touches as well as boyhood wrestling, noogies and 'mindless' caress. So go on and tickle, caress, poke, tousle, hug or kiss. Your Physical Touch Person will feel your love for them by touching them!

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